After having Cole, he was taken to the nursery for a mandatory 4 hour
stay to make sure he was perfectly healthy. At some point in those
couple hours, they had given me medicine to calm me down. Adrenaline was
running through my body hours after having him. I just sat and shook,
my heart was racing. I couldn't settle myself. My body was out of
control.
When I finally got it together, I NEEDED to see my baby so I rang for my nurse. Knowing it had been more than 4 hours I said through the speaker, "Can you bring my baby into my room?" She told me she'd be right there.
My nurse came in and I noticed she didn't have Cole. I kept trying to look past the curtain to see where he was. My nurse helped me sit up on the side of the bed. She then
stooped down to my level and said, "Sweetie, I need to talk to you
about Cole."
My heart sank. I blurted out a quick "what!?" and eagerly waited for her to speak.
She
said, "While Cole has been in the nursery, he has started 'barking' so
we have him in a tank to help him breathe. He is in respiratory distress
and may have pneumonia. Okay?" She paused for my response, "...Are you okay?"
I
can't think of any words that could possibly relay what I was feeling. I
just stared at her. Blank look. Couldn't talk. I wasn't even processing
it. I was just frozen.
"Mrs. Scott, are you okay?"
I finally mustered out a "yes" and she gave me a hug because I think she didn't know what else to do...lol
She took me by wheelchair to the nursery. He
was in a room all by himself. I remember his isolette being way too
tall for my wheelchair. I couldn't see him. Finally, my nurse lowered
his bed to my level and I got to see my baby for the first time since he
was born. His head was surrounded by some sort of cylinder-shaped
oxygen tank. I could see his breath steaming up the tank. I will never
forget what his "bark" sounded like. He was struggling to breathe and my
heart was broken.
My entire pregnancy, I NEVER
IMAGINED my child wouldn't be healthy when he was born. That kind of
thing would not possibly happen to me. I was still optimistic that he
would be fine in time and wasn't prepared for what she was about to tell
me.
"Kristeen, Dr. Joe will make the final decision
but if he isn't well within a couple of hours, he will need to be
transported to either Winchester or Morgantown. Whoever has an available
bed."
They began to situate him to take a chest x-ray
to see if there was any fluid in his lungs so I went back to my room to
attempt sleep. I had been awake for over 24 hours and my body needed
sleep.
The next time I visited him, his nurse told me that
they did find some fluid in his lungs and that he had pneumonia. Some
point during labor or delivery, Cole had inhaled amniotic fluid. They
started him on antibiotics to help clear that up.
Unfortunately, into the afternoon, Cole's breathing
started to get worse and got the the point where he was too tired to
breathe on his own. They had him on a nasal cannula.
Around 7pm that night, Dr. Joe, Cole's pediatrician, came
into my room and everyone but Michael stepped out. She told us that
Cole needed more help than they were equipped to give him and that the
Winchester NICU transport team was on their way to get him. We were
devastated.
We went straight to his room and I just laid over his isolette. I just wanted to be close to him.
Soon,
a nurse told us that his transport team had arrived. I went into crazy
protective mother mode. I was SO SAD that they were taking my baby from
me. I couldn't wrap my brain
around the fact that they were there to help him. I mean, I knew that's
what they were there for but I was being a baby...lol If you push a baby
out of your vagina and then they tell you that he is sick and that they
are taking him from you and you can't go, you might forgive my
behavior....lol
So they ended up intubating him which
was painful to watch...and then they packed him up and i bawled. I felt
like I would never see him again. He wrapped his hand around my finger
and he wouldn't let go and I was fine with that! I didn't want him to
let go.
I sensed they were about to leave and I can
remember looking at their driver and telling him to be careful with
my baby. He promised he would. I am now very thankful to that transport
team! They got Cole on his was to recovery.
We went back to my room and I cried...and cried...and
cried... from that moment on, I sat and BEGGED to be let out of the
hospital. Every time my nurse came in, I asked to please be discharged.
Finally, my morning nurse came in on Sunday and said, "Sweetie, let's get you out of here so you can get to Winchester." I was given a flu shot and a pertussis shot and I was changed and packed up in 5 minutes. You forget that your vagina even hurts when they tell you that you can go home!
And so began our journey to the Winchester NICU.
