Everyone has been asking to hear my labor and delivery story...I have been struggling to decide whether or not I wanted to share some of this story and I have just decided to leave some of it out...
Wednesday, January 30, 2013
There are certain smells that bring you back to the very second something happened. Your brain bottles it up in the moment and you relive that day all over again, usually unexpectedly. Just like a smell, your brain bottles up the way something makes you feel.
I can't help but get emotional when i think back to the Facebook status I forced myself to write: that Cole had been transported to the Winchester NICU. I can still feel my heart breaking, the tears flooding down my face. I can remember feeling like I wasn't in my own body, time stood still. There's no possible way you could comprehend what that feels like until you go through it...until it happens to you. Not understanding the severity of his complications, people just talking at you and you don't understand, not that you're listening anyway. You can't possibly focus at a time like that. Doctors asking you to make decisions regarding his care and nurses telling you you're doing a great job, that you're handling the situation well. At that point, all that you are thinking about is busting out of that hospital and getting to your baby. I've never felt so helpless in my life.
I can't help but get emotional when i think back to the Facebook status I forced myself to write: that Cole had been transported to the Winchester NICU. I can still feel my heart breaking, the tears flooding down my face. I can remember feeling like I wasn't in my own body, time stood still. There's no possible way you could comprehend what that feels like until you go through it...until it happens to you. Not understanding the severity of his complications, people just talking at you and you don't understand, not that you're listening anyway. You can't possibly focus at a time like that. Doctors asking you to make decisions regarding his care and nurses telling you you're doing a great job, that you're handling the situation well. At that point, all that you are thinking about is busting out of that hospital and getting to your baby. I've never felt so helpless in my life.
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