Wednesday, March 13, 2013

10 Things No One Ever Told You About Giving Birth

...or at least, you never expected would happen to you!

1. Your Doctor Might Not Listen To You...
    ...or at least mine didn't.
Around week 33, I started spotting. Technically, it's normal and most doctors don't see it as a red flag BUT it wasn't normal for ME. I hadn't spotted my entire pregnancy, but out of the blue, I started spotting and was crampy and when I coughed, I was leaking "water." When my doctor saw me the day it started, she told me that spotting was normal, she wasn't concerned, I wasn't dilated at all and the "water" was probably just pee. But I KNEW in my heart that something wasn't right and I didn't feel like I was being heard. You have every right to get a second opinion and if I had it to do all over again, I would have gone to the hospital that day.

2. Your Baby Might Come Early...
    ...and you might become a NICU mom.
One in eight babies born in the United States arrive early, sometimes for no known cause.
This is scary and I never thought it would happen to me. But it did. I wasn't mentally ready and I hadn't bought a thing for him, the crib was still in the box and I certainly never imagined that I'd be a NICU mom.

3. There Will Be Blood...
   ...actually, there will be a lot of blood.
They will take your blood, there's blood during delivery and there's A LOT of bleeding after delivery. In fact, I bled for 8 weeks after I had my son. You never think you're going to have a 2 month period, but you might. lol

4. It HURTS SO BAD Afterwards...
    ...and you will NEVER forget what that feels like...
By the time I got to the hospital, I was in full blown labor. I thought I was going to come over the counter at the woman admitting me when she was calling around trying to figure out how to spell a doctors name. And yes, it hurts during delivery but you expect that. What I didn't expect was to be in pain weeks after I gave birth. Like I'm talking, it hurt to walk! OUCH!

5. You Might Not Get Your Doctor...
    ...and you might hate the doctor you get...
For some unknown reason, maybe because it was considered an "emergency delivery," I didn't get one of the four doctors in my practice. I got the doctor who was on call...and I did not like her!

6. You Might Get Separated From Your Baby...
    ...and that might hurt worse than delivery...
I had my son at a hospital that did not have a NICU. When he needed to be transferred to a different hospital, I lost it. I was still in the hospital where I had him and I couldn't go with him. My heart literally HURT! You will NEVER forget what that feels like, either!

7. You Have To Push...
    ...I mean, REALLY. REALLY. PUSH.
This sounds dumb and obvious but it's true. I was so worried about how much pain I might be in that I never thought about the pushing part. You have to literally put your chin to your chest, pull your legs up and push...for a 10 count. And it feels like those 10 seconds is about 3 hours! And you might have to push for a long time!

8. There Is No Such Thing As Modesty...
    ...trust me, it will go out the window...
I know, in the doctors office, you make sure nothing is showing when you put that gown on. But by the time you go into labor and get into that bed, they might as well not even give you a gown. Everyone and their mother will be looking at it anyway. And don't think that stops after you give birth. Your nurse will be checking your bleeding and pushing on your stomach often. You will be shown how to pump and breastfeed so forget about it. They see them all day, every day and yours is no exception. And if you become a NICU mom like I did, preemie babies sometimes require extra time and energy and motivation to latch on...so the NICU lactation nurses will be seeing it all as well. It's okay. You will not care.

9. Your Husband Might Cry
    ...and it will break your heart...
My husband is often described as "The Hulk" by many co-workers, friends and family. I hear it all the time, "Man, your husband is a big guy!" "He's solid, like a rock!" and for some reason, I am proud of that. Overall, my husband is a pretty strong guy, physically and emotionally. He doesn't cry over the small things and sometimes even the big things. So I never expected that when I had my son that my husband would cry when he held him for the first time...but he did. And it melted my heart. If it is even possible, I loved him more in that moment, than I ever had before.

10. You Will Never Be The Same...
     ...EVER.
A baby changes everything. It changes your sleep schedule, how and when you eat your dinner, where you go, when you come home, who you hang out with. It changes how you look at life, who you are, what you want to become. Having a baby makes you want to be a better person. When it's 2:30am and you are sitting on the side of the bed, holding your son in your arms, feeding him his bottle and he looks up at you and smiles...you don't care that you've only gotten 3 hours of sleep. And when you sat him up to burp him, you don't care that he spit up in your hair and you have to wash it...AGAIN!

Did I miss anything, moms? What are some things no one ever told you about having a baby?
Dads, anything you were shocked by? I'd love to hear from you, too!

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