The Aftermath - Sick Baby Cole

After having Cole, he was taken to the nursery for a mandatory 4 hour stay to make sure he was perfectly healthy. At some point in those couple hours, they had given me medicine to calm me down. Adrenaline was running through my body hours after having him. I just sat and shook, my heart was racing. I couldn't settle myself. My body was out of control.

When I finally got it together, I NEEDED to see my baby so I rang for my nurse. Knowing it had been more than 4 hours I said through the speaker, "Can you bring my baby into my room?" She told me she'd be right there.

My nurse came in and I noticed she didn't have Cole. I kept trying to look past the curtain to see where he was. My nurse helped me sit up on the side of the bed. She then stooped down to my level and said, "Sweetie, I need to talk to you about Cole."

My heart sank. I blurted out a quick "what!?" and eagerly waited for her to speak.

She said, "While Cole has been in the nursery, he has started 'barking' so we have him in a tank to help him breathe. He is in respiratory distress and may have pneumonia. Okay?" She paused for my response, "...Are you okay?"

I can't think of any words that could possibly relay what I was feeling. I just stared at her. Blank look. Couldn't talk. I wasn't even processing it. I was just frozen.

"Mrs. Scott, are you okay?"

I finally mustered out a "yes" and she gave me a hug because I think she didn't know what else to do...lol

She took me by wheelchair to the nursery. He was in a room all by himself. I remember his isolette being way too tall for my wheelchair. I couldn't see him. Finally, my nurse lowered his bed to my level and I got to see my baby for the first time since he was born. His head was surrounded by some sort of cylinder-shaped oxygen tank. I could see his breath steaming up the tank. I will never forget what his "bark" sounded like. He was struggling to breathe and my heart was broken.

My entire pregnancy, I NEVER IMAGINED my child wouldn't be healthy when he was born. That kind of thing would not possibly happen to me. I was still optimistic that he would be fine in time and wasn't prepared for what she was about to tell me.

"Kristeen, Dr. Joe will make the final decision but if he isn't well within a couple of hours, he will need to be transported to either Winchester or Morgantown. Whoever has an available bed."

They began to situate him to take a chest x-ray to see if there was any fluid in his lungs so I went back to my room to attempt sleep. I had been awake for over 24 hours and my body needed sleep.

The next time I visited him, his nurse told me that they did find some fluid in his lungs and that he had pneumonia. Some point during labor or delivery, Cole had inhaled amniotic fluid. They started him on antibiotics to help clear that up.

Unfortunately, into the afternoon, Cole's breathing started to get worse and got the the point where he was too tired to breathe on his own. They had him on a nasal cannula.

Around 7pm that night, Dr. Joe, Cole's pediatrician, came into my room and everyone but Michael stepped out. She told us that Cole needed more help than they were equipped to give him and that the Winchester NICU transport team was on their way to get him. We were devastated.

We went straight to his room and I just laid over his isolette. I just wanted to be close to him.

Soon, a nurse told us that his transport team had arrived. I went into crazy protective mother mode. I was SO SAD that they were taking my baby from me. I couldn't wrap my brain around the fact that they were there to help him. I mean, I knew that's what they were there for but I was being a baby...lol If you push a baby out of your vagina and then they tell you that he is sick and that they are taking him from you and you can't go, you might forgive my behavior....lol

So they ended up intubating him which was painful to watch...and then they packed him up and i bawled. I felt like I would never see him again. He wrapped his hand around my finger and he wouldn't let go and I was fine with that! I didn't want him to let go.

I sensed they were about to leave and I can remember looking at their driver and telling him to be careful with my baby. He promised he would. I am now very thankful to that transport team! They got Cole on his was to recovery.

We went back to my room and I cried...and cried...and cried... from that moment on, I sat and BEGGED to be let out of the hospital. Every time my nurse came in, I asked to please be discharged.

Finally, my morning nurse came in on Sunday and said, "Sweetie, let's get you out of here so you can get to Winchester." I was given a flu shot and a pertussis shot and I was changed and packed up in 5 minutes. You forget that your vagina even hurts when they tell you that you can go home!

And so began our journey to the Winchester NICU.

Labor and Delivery Story

Everyone has been asking to hear my labor and delivery story...I have been struggling to decide whether or not I wanted to share some of this story and I have just decided to leave some of it out...

There are certain smells that bring you back to the very second something happened. Your brain bottles it up in the moment and you relive that day all over again, usually unexpectedly. Just like a smell, your brain bottles up the way something makes you feel.

I can't help but get emotional when i think back to the Facebook status I forced myself to write: that Cole had been transported to the Winchester NICU. I can still feel my heart breaking, the tears flooding down my face. I can remember feeling like I wasn't in my own body, time stood still. There's no possible way you could comprehend what that feels like until you go through it...until it happens to you. Not understanding the severity of his complications, people just talking at you and you don't understand, not that you're listening anyway. You can't possibly focus at a time like that. Doctors asking you to make decisions regarding his care and nurses telling you you're doing a great job, that you're handling the situation well. At that point, all that you are thinking about is busting out of that hospital and getting to your baby. I've never felt so helpless in my life.

34 WEEKS!

Getting excited for our baby shower this weekend! Can't wait to see everyone! Baby Scott is going to be so spoiled...lol

How far along? 34 Weeks
Maternity clothes? that's all that fits!
Stretch marks? tiny ones...
Sleep: has been horrible. Awake most of the night, dragging most of the day...lol
Movement: I think I have a jumping bean in there...
Food cravings: sadly, McDonalds. And I've been loving fruit and yogurt parfaits.
Gender: BOY! :)
Labor Signs: I had a little scare but it was a false alarm!
Belly Button in or out? flush with my belly.
Wedding rings on or off? off :(
Happy or Moody most of the time: happy.
Any names picked out: YES :)
Any symptoms: Back pain, rib pain, heartburn, peeing every 45 minutes, leg cramps.

33 WEEKS!

I have been addicted to Pinterest lately. Okay, I've been addicted to Pinterest for a while now but lately I have been LOVING the nursery stuff. Color schemes, themes, DIY canvases and bookshelves, just to name a few. On my baby shower invite, it asks for everyone to bring a book for the baby's library. I'm excited about this for two reasons. 1. The baby will always have a library of special notes written to him from friends and family and 2. What baby doesn't love books!? :) So, I've been scouring Pinterest for bookshelf ideas and these are a few of my favorites so far:

 

Click here to view my entire Nursery Pinterest Board!

And of course, here's the ever-growing baby belly for this week... :)

How far along? 33 Weeks
Maternity clothes? yep
Stretch marks? tiny ones...
Sleep: has not been very good...lol
Movement: yes!
Food cravings: still loving ice and Chinese.
Gender: BOY! :)
Labor Signs: nope...
Belly Button in or out? flush with my belly.
Wedding rings on or off? off :(
Happy or Moody most of the time: mostly happy but moody as well...lol
Any names picked out: YES :)
Any symptoms: Back pain, rib pain, heartburn, peeing every 45 minutes, leg cramps. Ridiculously overly-emotional. Poor Michael... :)

32 WEEKS!

I really should have titled this post: NOTHING FITS! It is extremely frustrating when your husband is in a hurry to leave the house but it takes you 20 minutes to get your maternity jeans past your thighs and over your butt! Seriously, I've been close to tears...lol But I finally broke down and bought a new pair of maternity jeans in a size that I can actually breathe in! Talk about HEAVEN!

I discovered recently that I have a tiny stretch mark on my hip. I thought at first it was just a mark from my way-too-tight jeans...turns out, it was an itty bitty stretch mark. I'm not freaking out. No one besides my husband will be seeing that part of my body anyway so I'm okay with it. Let's, however, keep praying to the Cocoa Butter Gods that I don't get any (or at least, many) on my belly. And for those of you wondering, no, I wasn't putting lotion on the part that I got a stretch mark on. :( boo...lol

I wear my rings pretty loose anyway so I thought I wouldn't have a problem with my fingers swelling. WRONG! I don't think my fingers have swollen but I think they have gotten a little chubbier lately and therefore, I was forced to take my rings off. My fingers were starting to turn purple...lol

Last night, Michael and I were at dinner. I ran to the bathroom as soon as I got inside the restaurant. I fought a 6 year old out of the stall and made it, barely, just in time. I was then standing at the sink, washing my hands, when one of my customers I hadn't seen in a long time came up to me to say hello. She quickly noticed my weight gain and exclaimed LOUDLY, "Wow, you've really put on a lot of weight!" I turned around to face her and said, "Well, I have about 8 more weeks left." She then, to my horror, said, "OH! And you're pregnant!" RUDE! lol

Anyway, I personally think I wear the weight (40 extra pounds!) pretty well. And even if that's just me trying to make myself feel better and if I really do look like a cow, I don't care. In 8 weeks or less, I'm going to have a gorgeous baby boy to keep me busy! And my husband (BETTER) not care :)

 

 

How far along? 32 Weeks
Maternity clothes? yep
Stretch marks? tiny ones...
Sleep: depends on Michael and Charlie. They are bed hogs...lol
Movement: More bulging than kicking these days. I think he's out of room. He's been turning sideways, his spine to my belly button, head bulging under my ribcage and his bottom poking out the other side.
Food cravings: ICE! I've been chomping ice like crazy! Also, I've been back to eating Chinese. 3 times in one week. lol
Gender: BOY! :)
Labor Signs: nope...
Belly Button in or out? in, almost out.
Wedding rings on or off? off :(
Happy or Moody most of the time: happy :)
Any names picked out: yep! And I'm excited!
Any symptoms: Back pain, rib pain, heartburn, peeing every 45 minutes, leg cramps. Ridiculously overly-emotional. It's been fun...lol

31 WEEKS!

There are very few things that keep me from eating a meal, especially these days. However, heartburn and the anxiety of the perfect birth plan are now on the list. Epidural...no epidural? How does an epidural affect the baby? What are my other pain management options? Should I take a class? Can I do this? Will I have to get an episiotomy or a c-section? Who do I want in the delivery room? Which doctor will I choose? Breastfeed or formula? What in the world should I pack in my hospital bag!? What am I bringing the baby home in? What are we going to name him?

There are so many questions running through my head...and I NEED answers...and some lunch!

I went to the doctor yesterday! She said that I'm measuring big and that she thinks it's going to be a big baby! That scares me a little bit! lol Other than that, I passed my glucose test and I go back every 2 weeks now! So exciting!

Here's a picture of the growing belly! Please excuse the toilet and shoe shiner :)

How far along? 31 Weeks
Maternity clothes? yep
Stretch marks? so far, so good.
Sleep: is horrible. The most uncomfortable thing ever. lol I get charlie horses ALL NIGHT LONG! bleh!
Movement: More bulging than kicking these days. I think he's out of room.
Food cravings: Chicken Salad from The Daily Grind...again. And then there is this ridiculous obsession with chips and salsa lately. lol
Gender: BOY! :)
Labor Signs: I had Braxton Hicks which are so weird...lol
Belly Button in or out? in, almost out.
Wedding rings on or off? on
Happy or Moody most of the time: happy :)
Any names picked out: yep! And I'm excited!
Any symptoms: Back pain, rib pain, heartburn, peeing every 45 minutes, leg cramps.